1 twilight暮色-第29部分

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voice。　

〃But　he　picked　you　up　for　school　today？〃　she　probed。　

〃Yes　—　that　was　a　surprise；　too。　He　noticed　I　didn't　have　a　jacket　last　
night；〃　I　explained。　

〃So　are　you　going　out　again？〃　

〃He　offered　to　drive　me　to　Seattle　Saturday　because　he　thinks　toy　truck　
isn't　up　to　it　—　does　that　count？〃　

〃Yes。〃　She　nodded。　

〃Well；　then；　yes。〃　

〃Wow。〃　She　exaggerated　the　word　into　three　syllables。　〃Edward　Cullen。〃　

〃I　know；〃　I　agreed。　〃Wow〃　didn't　even　cover　it。　

〃Wait！〃　Her　hands　flew　up；　palms　toward　me　like　she　was　stopping　traffic。　
〃Has　he　kissed　you？〃　

〃No；〃　I　mumbled。　〃It's　not　like　that。〃　

She　looked　disappointed。　I'm　sure　I　did；　too。　

〃Do　you　think　Saturday…　？〃　She　raised　her　eyebrows。　

〃I　really　doubt　it。〃　The　discontent　in　my　voice　was　poorly　disguised。　

〃What　did　you　talk　about？〃　She　pushed　for　more　information　in　a　whisper。　
Class　had　started　but　Mr。　Varner　wasn't　paying　close　attention　and　we　
weren't　the　only　ones　still　talking。　

〃I　don't　know；　Jess；　lots　of　stuff；〃　I　whispered　back。　〃We　talked　about　
the　English　essay　a　little。〃　A　very；　very　little。　I　think　he　mentioned　it　
in　passing。　

〃Please；　Bella；〃　she　begged。　〃Give　me　some　details。〃　

〃Well…　okay；　I've　got　one。　You　should　have　seen　the　waitress　flirting　
with　him　—　it　was　over　the　top。　But　he　didn't　pay　any　attention　to　her　at　
all。〃　Let　him　make　what　he　could　of　that。　

〃That's　a　good　sign；〃　she　nodded。　〃Was　she　pretty？〃　

〃Very　—　and　probably　nieen　or　twenty。〃　

〃Even　better。　He　must　like　you。〃　

〃I　think　so；　but　it's　hard　to　tell。　He's　always　so　cryptic；〃　I　threw　in　
for　his　benefit；　sighing。　

〃I　don't　know　how　you're　brave　enough　to　be　alone　with　him；〃　she　breathed。　

〃Why？〃　I　was　shocked；　but　she　didn't　understand　my　reaction。　

〃He's　so…　intimidating。　I　wouldn't　know　what　to　say　to　him。〃　She　made　a　
face；　probably　remembering　this　morning　or　last　night；　when　he'd　turned　
the　overwhelming　force　of　his　eyes　on　her。　

〃I　do　have　some　trouble　with　incoherency　when　I'm　around　him；〃　I　admitted。　

〃Oh　well。　He　is　unbelievably　gorgeous。〃　Jessica　shrugged　as　if　this　
excused　any　flaws。　Which；　in　her　book；　it　probably　did。　

〃There's　a　lot　more　to　him　than　that。〃　

〃Really？　Like　what？〃　

I　wished　I　had　let　it　go。　Almost　as　much　as　I　was　hoping　he'd　been　
kidding　about　listening　in。　

〃I　can't　explain　it　right…　but　he's　even　more　unbelievable　behind　the　
face。〃　The　vampire　who　wanted　to　be　good　—　who　ran　around　saving　people's　
lives　so　he　wouldn't　be　a　monster…　I　stared　toward　the　front　of　the　room。　

〃Is　that　possible？〃　She　giggled。　

I　ignored　her；　trying　to　look　like　I　was　paying　attention　to　Mr。　Varner。　

〃So　you　like　him；　then？〃　She　wasn't　about　to　give　up。　

〃Yes；〃　I　said　curtly。　

〃I　mean；　do　you　really　like　him？〃　she　urged。　

〃Yes；〃　I　said　again；　blushing。　I　hoped　that　detail　wouldn't　register　in　
her　thoughts。　

She'd　had　enough　with　the　single　syllable　answers。　〃How　much　do　you　like　
him？〃　

〃Too　much；〃　I　whispered　back。　〃More　than　he　likes　me。　But　I　don't　see　how　
I　can　help　that。〃　I　sighed；　one　blush　blending　into　the　next。　

Then；　thankfully；　Mr。　Varner　called　on　Jessica　for　an　answer。　

She　didn't　get　a　chance　to　start　on　the　subject　again　during　class；　and　
as　soon　as　the　bell　rang；　I　took　evasive　action。　

〃In　English；　Mike　asked　me　if　you　said　anything　about　Monday　night；〃　I　
told　her。　

〃You're　kidding！　What　did　you　say？！〃　she　gasped；　pletely　sidetracked。　

〃I　told　him　you　said　you　had　a　lot　of　fun　—　he　looked　pleased。〃　

〃Tell　me　exactly　what　he　said；　and　your　exact　answer！〃　

We　spent　the　rest　of　the　walk　dissecting　sentence　structures　and　most　of　
Spanish　on　a　minute　description　of　Mike's　facial　expressions。　I　wouldn't　
have　helped　draw　it　out　for　as　long　as　I　did　if　I　wasn't　worried　about　
the　subject　returning　to　me。　

And　then　the　bell　rang　for　lunch。　As　I　jumped　up　out　of　my　seat；　shoving　
my　books　roughly　in　my　bag；　my　uplifted　expression　must　have　tipped　
Jessica　off。　

〃You're　not　sitting　with　us　today；　are　you？〃　she　guessed。　

〃I　don't　think　so。〃　I　couldn't　be　sure　that　he　wouldn't　disappear　
inconveniently　again。　

But　outside　the　door　to　our　Spanish　class；　leaning　against　the　wall　—　
looking　more　like　a　Greek　god　than　anyone　had　a　right　to　—　Edward　was　
waiting　for　me。　Jessica　took　one　look；　rolled　her　eyes；　and　departed。　

〃See　you　later；　Bella。〃　Her　voice　was　thick　with　implications。　I　might　
have　to　turn　off　the　ringer　on　the　phone。　

〃Hello。〃　His　voice　was　amused　and　irritated　at　the　same　time。　He　had　been　
listening；　it　was　obvious。　

〃Hi。〃　

I　couldn't　think　of　anything　else　to　say；　and　he　didn't　speak　—　biding　
his　time；　I　presumed　—　so　it　was　a　quiet　walk　to　the　cafeteria。　Walking　
with　Edward　through　the　crowded　lunchtime　rush　was　a　lot　like　my　first　
day　here；　everyone　stared。　

He　led　the　way　into　the　line；　still　not　speaking；　though　his　eyes　
returned　to　my　face　every　few　seconds；　their　expression　speculative。　It　
seemed　to　me　that　irritation　was　winning　out　over　amusement　as　the　
dominant　emotion　in　his　face。　I　fidgeted　nervously　with　the　zipper　on　my　
jacket。　

He　stepped　up　to　the　counter　and　filled　a　tray　with　food。　

〃What　are　you　doing？〃　I　objected。　〃You're　not　getting　all　that　for　me？〃　

He　shook　his　head；　stepping　forward　to　buy　the　food。　

〃Half　is　for　me；　of　course。〃　

I　raised　one　eyebrow。　

He　led　the　way　to　the　same　place　we'd　sat　that　one　time　before。　From　the　
other　end　of　the　long　table；　a　group　of　seniors　gazed　at　us　in　amazement　
as　we　sat　across　from　each　other。　Edward　seemed　oblivious。　

〃Take　whatever　you　want；〃　he　said；　pushing　the　tray　toward　me。　

〃I'm　curious；〃　I　said　as　I　picked　up　an　apple；　turning　it　around　in　my　
hands；　〃what　would　you　do　if　someone　dared　you　to　eat　food？〃　

〃You're　always　curious。〃　He　grimaced；　shaking　his　head。　He　glared　at　me；　
holding　my　eyes　as　he　lifted　the　slice　of　pizza　off　the　tray；　and　
deliberately　bit　off　a　mouthful；　chewed　quickly；　and　then　swallowed。　I　
watched；　eyes　wide。　

〃If　someone　dared　you　to　eat　dirt；　you　could；　couldn't　you？〃　he　asked　
condescendingly。　

I　wrinkled　my　nose。　〃I　did　once…　on　a　dare；〃　I　admitted。　〃It　wasn't　so　
bad。〃　

He　laughed。　〃I　suppose　I'm　not　surprised。〃　Something　over　my　shoulder　
seemed　to　catch　his　attention。　

〃Jessica's　analyzing　everything　I　do　—　she'll　break　it　down　for　you　
later。〃　He　pushed　the　rest　of　the　pizza　toward　me。　The　mention　of　Jessica　
brought　a　hint　of　his　former　irritation　back　to　his　features。　

I　put　down　the　apple　and　took　a　bite　of　the　pizza；　looking　away；　knowing　
he　was　about　to　start。　

〃So　the　waitress　was　pretty；　was　she？〃　he　asked　casually。　

〃You　really　didn't　notice？〃　

〃No。　I　wasn't　paying　attention。　I　had　a　lot　on　my　mind。〃　

〃Poor　girl。〃　I　could　afford　to　be　generous　now。　

〃Something　you　said　to　Jessica…　well；　it　bothers　me。〃　He　refused　to　be　
distracted。　His　voice　was　husky；　and　he　glanced　up　from　under　his　lashes　
with　troubled　eyes。　

〃I'm　not　surprised　you　heard　something　you　didn't　like。　You　know　what　
they　say　about　eavesdropners；〃　I　reminded　him。　

〃I　warned　you　I　would　be　listening。〃　

〃And　I　warned　you　that　you　didn't　want　to　know　everything　I　was　thinking。〃　

〃You　did；〃　he　agreed；　but　his　voice　was　still　rough。　〃You　aren't　
precisely　right；　though。　I　do　want　to　know　what　you're　thinking　—　
everything。　I　just　wish…　that　you　wouldn't　be　thinking　some　things。〃　

I　scowled。　〃That's　quite　a　distinction。〃　

〃But　that's　not　really　the　point　at　the　moment。〃　

〃Then　what　is？〃　We　were　inclined　toward　each　other　across　the　table　now。　
He　had　his　large　white　hands　folded　under　his　chin；　I　leaned　forward；　my　
right　hand　cupped　around　my　neck。　I　had　to　remind　myself　that　we　were　in　
a　crowded　lunchroom；　with　probably　many　curious　eyes　on　us。　It　was　too　
easy　to　get　wrapped　up　in　our　own　private；　tense　little　bubble。　

〃Do　you　truly　believe　that　you　care　more　for　me　than　I　do　for　you？〃　he　
murmured；　leaning　closer　to　me　as　he　spoke；　his　dark　golden　eyes　piercing。　

I　tried　to　remember　how　to　exhale。　I　had　to　look　away　before　it　came　back　
to　me。　

〃You're　doing　it　again；〃　I　muttered。　

His　eyes　opened　wide　with　surprise。　〃What？〃　

〃Dazzling　me；〃　I　admitted；　trying　to　concentrate　as　I　looked　back　at　him。　

〃Oh。〃　He　frowned。　

〃It's　not　your　fault；〃　I　sighed。　〃You　can't　help　it。〃　

〃Are　you　going　to　answer　the　question？〃　

I　looked　down。　〃Yes。〃　

〃Yes；　you　are　going　to　answer；　or　yes；　you　really　think　that？〃　He　was　
irritated　again。　

〃Yes；　I　really　think　that。〃　I　kept　my　eyes　down　on　the　table；　my　eyes　
tracing　the　pattern　of　the　faux　wood　grains　printed　on　the　laminate。　The　
silence　dragged　on。　I　stubbornly　refused　to　be　the　first　to　break　it　this　
time；　fighting　hard　against　the　temptation　to　peek　at　his　expression。　

Finally　he　spoke；　voice　velvet　soft。　〃You're　wrong。〃　

I　glanced　up　to　see　that　his　eyes　were　gentle。　

〃You　can't　know　that；〃　I　disagreed　in　a　whisper。　I　shook　my　head　in　
doubt；　though　my　heart　throbbed　at　his　words　and　I　wanted　so　badly　to　
believe　them。　

〃What　makes　you　think　so？〃　His　liquid　topaz　eyes　were　perating　—　
trying　futilely；　I　assumed；　to　lift　the　truth　straight　from　my　mind。　

I　stared　back；　struggling　to　think　clearly　in　spite　of　his　face；　to　find　
some　way　to　explain。　As　I　searched　for　the　words；　I　could　see　him　getting　
impatient；　frustrated　by　my　silence；　he　started　to　scowl。　I　lifted　my　
hand　from　my　neck；　and　held　up　one　finger。　

〃Let　me　think；〃　I　insisted。　His　expression　cleared；　now　that　he　was　
satisfied　that　I　was　planning　to　answer。　I　dropped　my　hand　to　the　table；　
moving　my　left　hand　so　that　my　palms　were　pressed　together。　I　stared　at　
my　hands；　twisting　and　untwisting　my　fingers；　as　I　finally　spoke。　

〃Well；　aside　from　the　obvious；　sometimes…〃　I　hesitated。　〃I　can't　be　sure　
—　I　don't　know　how　to　read　minds　—　but　sometimes　it　seems　like　you're　
trying　to　say　goodbye　when　you're　saying　something　else。〃　That　was　the　
best　I　could　sum　up　the　sensation　of　anguish　that　his　words　triggered　in　
me　at　times。　

〃Perceptive；〃　he　whispered。　And　there　was　the　anguish　again；