1 twilight暮色-第26部分

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anywhere？　How　do　you　do　it？　Can　the　rest　of　your　family…　？〃　I　felt　silly；　
asking　for　clarification　on　makebelieve。　

〃That's　more　than　one；〃　he　pointed　out。　I　simply　intertwined　my　fingers　
and　gazed　at　him；　waiting。　

〃No；　it's　just　me。　And　I　can't　hear　anyone；　anywhere。　I　have　to　be　fairly　
close。　The　more　familiar　someone's…　'voice'　is；　the　farther　away　I　can　
hear　them。　But　still；　no　more　than　a　few　miles。〃　He　paused　thoughtfully。　
〃It's　a　little　like　being　in　a　huge　hall　filled　with　people；　everyone　
talking　at　once。　It's　just　a　hum　—　a　buzzing　of　voices　in　the　background。　
Until　I　focus　on　one　voice；　and　then　what　they're　thinking　is　clear。　

〃Most　of　the　time　I　tune　it　all　out　—　it　can　be　very　distracting。　And　
then　it's　easier　to　seem　normal〃　—　he　frowned　as　he　said　the　word　—　〃when　
I'm　not　accidentally　answering　someone's　thoughts　rather　than　their　
words。〃　

〃Why　do　you　think　you　can't　hear　me？〃　I　asked　curiously。　

He　looked　at　me；　his　eyes　enigmatic。　

〃I　don't　know；〃　he　murmured。　〃The　only　guess　I　have　is　that　maybe　your　

mind　doesn't　work　the　same　way　the　rest　of　theirs　do。　Like　your　thoughts　
are　on　the　AM　frequency　and　I'm　only　getting　FM。〃　He　grinned　at　me；　
suddenly　amused。　

〃My　mind　doesn't　work　right？　I'm　a　freak？〃　The　words　bothered　me　more　
than　they　should　—　probably　because　his　speculation　hit　home。　I'd　always　
suspected　as　much；　and　it　embarrassed　me　to　have　it　confirmed。　

〃I　hear　voices　in　my　mind　and　you're　worried　that　you're　the　freak；〃　he　
laughed。　〃Don't　worry；　it's　just　a　theory…〃　His　face　tightened。　〃Which　
brings　us　back　to　you。〃　

I　sighed。　How　to　begin？　

〃Aren't　we　past　all　the　evasions　now？〃　he　reminded　me　softly。　

I　looked　away　from　his　face　for　the　first　time；　trying　to　find　words。　I　
happened　to　notice　the　speedometer。　

〃Holy　crow！〃　I　shouted。　〃Slow　down！〃　

〃What's　wrong？〃　He　was　startled。　But　the　car　didn't　decelerate。　

〃You're　going　a　hundred　miles　an　hour！〃　I　was　still　shouting。　I　shot　a　
panicky　glance　out　the　window；　but　it　was　too　dark　to　see　much。　The　road　
was　only　visible　in　the　long　patch　of　bluish　brightness　from　the　
headlights。　The　forest　along　both　sides　of　the　road　was　like　a　black　wall　
—　as　hard　as　a　wall　of　steel　if　we　veered　off　the　road　at　this　speed。　

〃Relax；　Bella。〃　He　rolled　his　eyes；　still　not　slowing。　

〃Are　you　trying　to　kill　us？〃　I　demanded。　

〃We're　not　going　to　crash。〃　

I　tried　to　modulate　my　voice。　〃Why　are　you　in　such　a　hurry？〃　

〃I　always　drive　like　this。〃　He　turned　to　smile　crookedly　at　me。　

〃Keep　your　eyes　on　the　road！〃　

〃I've　never　been　in　an　accident；　Bella　—　I've　never　even　gotten　a　
ticket。〃　He　grinned　and　tapped　his　forehead。　〃Builtin　radar　detector。〃　

〃Very　funny。〃　I　fumed。　〃Charlie's　a　cop；　remember？　I　was　raised　to　abide　
by　traffic　laws。　Besides；　if　you　turn　us　into　a　Volvo　pretzel　around　a　
tree　trunk；　you　can　probably　just　walk　away。〃　

〃Probably；〃　he　agreed　with　a　short；　hard　laugh。　〃But　you　can't。〃　He　
sighed；　and　I　watched　with　relief　as　the　needle　gradually　drifted　toward　
eighty。　〃Happy？〃　

〃Almost。〃　

〃I　hate　driving　slow；〃　he　muttered。　

〃This　is　slow？〃　

〃Enough　mentary　on　my　driving；〃　he　snapped。　〃I'm　still　waiting　for　
your　latest　theory。〃　

I　bit　my　lip。　He　looked　down　at　me；　his　honey　eyes　unexpectedly　gentle。　

〃I　won't　laugh；〃　he　promised。　

〃I'm　more　afraid　that　you'll　be　angry　with　me。〃　

〃Is　it　that　bad？〃　

〃Pretty　much；　yeah。〃　

He　waited。　I　was　looking　down　at　my　hands；　so　I　couldn't　see　his　

expression。　

〃Go　ahead。〃　His　voice　was　calm。　

〃I　don't　know　how　to　start；〃　I　admitted。　

〃Why　don't　you　start　at　the　beginning…　you　said　you　didn't　e　up　with　
this　on　your　own。〃　

〃No。〃　

〃What　got　you　started　—　a　book？　A　movie？〃　he　probed。　

〃No　—　it　was　Saturday；　at　the　beach。〃　I　risked　a　glance　up　at　his　face。　
He　looked　puzzled。　

〃I　ran　into　an　old　family　friend　—Jacob　Black；〃　I　continued。　〃His　dad　and　
Charlie　have　been　friends　since　I　was　a　baby。〃　

He　still　looked　confused。　

〃His　dad　is　one　of　the　Quileute　elders。〃　I　watched　him　carefully。　His　
confused　expression　froze　in　place。　〃We　went　for　a　walk　—〃　I　edited　all　
my　scheming　out　of　the　story　〃—　and　he　was　telling　me　some　old　legends　—　
trying　to　scare　me；　I　think。　He　told　me　one…〃　I　hesitated。　

〃Go　on；〃　he　said。　

〃About　vampires。〃　I　realized　I　was　whispering。　I　couldn't　look　at　his　
face　now。　But　I　saw　his　knuckles　tighten　convulsively　on　the　wheel。　

〃And　you　immediately　thought　of　me？〃　Still　calm。　

〃No。　He…　mentioned　your　family。〃　

He　was　silent；　staring　at　the　road。　

I　was　worried　suddenly；　worried　about　protecting　Jacob。　

〃He　just　thought　it　was　a　silly　superstition；〃　I　said　quickly。　〃He　didn't　
expect　me　to　think　anything　of　it。〃　It　didn't　seem　like　enough；　I　had　to　
confess。　〃It　was　my　fault；　I　forced　him　to　tell　me。〃　

〃Why？〃　

〃Lauren　said　something　about　you　—　she　was　trying　to　provoke　me。　And　an　
older　boy　from　the　tribe　said　your　family　didn't　e　to　the　reservation；　
only　it　sounded　like　he　meant　something　different。　So　I　got　Jacob　alone　
and　I　tricked　it　out　of　him；〃　I　admitted；　hanging　my　head。　

He　startled　me　by　laughing。　I　glared　up　at　him。　He　was　laughing；　but　his　
eyes　were　fierce；　staring　ahead。　

〃Tricked　him　how？〃　he　asked。　

〃I　tried　to　flirt　—　it　worked　better　than　I　thought　it　would。〃　Disbelief　
colored　my　tone　as　I　remembered。　

〃I'd　like　to　have　seen　that。〃　He　chuckled　darkly。　〃And　you　accused　me　of　
dazzling　people　—　poor　Jacob　Black。〃　

I　blushed　and　looked　out　my　window　into　the　night。　

〃What　did　you　do　then？〃　he　asked　after　a　minute。　

〃I　did　some　research　on　the　Inter。〃　

〃And　did　that　convince　you？〃　His　voice　sounded　barely　interested。　But　his　
hands　were　clamped　hard　onto　the　steering　wheel。　

〃No。　Nothing　fit。　Most　of　it　was　kind　of　silly。　And　then…〃　I　stopped。　

〃What？〃　

〃I　decided　it　didn't　matter；〃　I　whispered。　

〃It　didn't　matter？〃　His　tone　made　me　look　up　—　I　had　finally　broken　
through　his　carefully　posed　mask。　His　face　was　incredulous；　with　just　
a　hint　of　the　anger　I'd　feared。　

〃No；〃　I　said　softly。　〃It　doesn't　matter　to　me　what　you　are。〃　

A　hard；　mocking　edge　entered　his　voice。　〃You　don't　care　if　I'm　a　monster？　
If　I'm　not　human！〃　

〃No。〃　

He　was　silent；　staring　straight　ahead　again。　His　face　was　bleak　and　cold。　

〃You're　angry；〃　I　sighed。　〃I　shouldn't　have　said　anything。〃　

〃No；〃　he　said；　but　his　tone　was　as　hard　as　his　face。　〃I'd　rather　know　
what　you're　thinking　—　even　if　what　you're　thinking　is　insane。〃　

〃So　I'm　wrong　again？〃　I　challenged。　

〃That's　not　what　I　was　referring　to。　'It　doesn't　matter'！〃　he　quoted；　
gritting　his　teeth　together。　

〃I'm　right？〃　I　gasped。　

〃Does　it　matter？〃　

I　took　a　deep　breath。　

〃Not　really。〃　I　paused。　〃But　I　am　curious。〃　My　voice；　at　least；　was　
posed。　

He　was　suddenly　resigned。　〃What　are　you　curious　about？〃　

〃How　old　are　you？〃　

〃Seventeen；〃　he　answered　promptly。　

〃And　how　long　have　you　been　seventeen？〃　

His　lips　twitched　as　he　stared　at　the　road。　〃A　while；〃　he　admitted　at　
last。　

〃Okay。〃　I　smiled；　pleased　that　he　was　still　being　honest　with　me。　He　
stared　down　at　me　with　watchful　eyes；　much　as　he　had　before；　when　he　was　
worried　I　would　go　into　shock。　I　smiled　wider　in　encouragement；　and　he　
frowned。　

〃Don't　laugh　—　but　how　can　you　e　out　during　the　daytime？〃　

He　laughed　anyway。　〃Myth。〃　

〃Burned　by　the　sun？〃　

〃Myth。〃　

〃Sleeping　in　coffins？〃　

〃Myth。〃　He　hesitated　for　a　moment；　and　a　peculiar　tone　entered　his　voice。　
〃I　can't　sleep。〃　

It　took　me　a　minute　to　absorb　that。　〃At　all？〃　

〃Never；〃　he　said；　his　voice　nearly　inaudible。　He　turned　to　look　at　me　
with　a　wistful　expression。　The　golden　eyes　held　mine；　and　I　lost　my　train　
of　thought。　I　stared　at　him　until　he　looked　away。　

〃You　haven't　asked　me　the　most　important　question　yet。〃　His　voice　was　

hard　now；　and　when　he　looked　at　me　again　his　eyes　were　cold。　

I　blinked；　still　dazed。　〃Which　one　is　that？〃　

〃You　aren't　concerned　about　my　diet？〃　he　asked　sarcastically。　

〃Oh；〃　I　murmured；　〃that。〃　

〃Yes；　that。〃　His　voice　was　bleak。　〃Don't　you　want　to　know　if　I　drink　
blood？〃　

I　flinched。　〃Well；　Jacob　said　something　about　that。〃　

〃What　did　Jacob　say？〃　he　asked　flatly。　

〃He　said　you　didn't…　hunt　people。　He　said　your　family　wasn't　supposed　to　
be　dangerous　because　you　only　hunted　animals。〃　

〃He　said　we　weren't　dangerous？〃　His　voice　was　deeply　skeptical。　

〃Not　exactly。　He　said　you　weren't　supposed　to　be　dangerous。　But　the　
Quileutes　still　didn't　want　you　on　their　land；　just　in　case。〃　

He　looked　forward；　but　I　couldn't　tell　if　he　was　watching　the　road　or　not。　

〃So　was　he　right？　About　not　hunting　people？〃　I　tried　to　keep　my　voice　as　
even　as　possible。　

〃The　Quileutes　have　a　long　memory；〃　he　whispered。　

I　took　it　as　a　confirmation。　

〃Don't　let　that　make　you　placent；　though；〃　he　warned　me。　〃They're　
right　to　keep　their　distance　from　us。　We　are　still　dangerous。〃　

〃I　don't　understand。〃　

〃We　try；〃　he　explained　slowly。　〃We're　usually　very　good　at　what　we　do。　
Sometimes　we　make　mistakes。　Me；　for　example；　allowing　myself　to　be　alone　
with　you。〃　

〃This　is　a　mistake？〃　I　heard　the　sadness　in　my　voice；　but　I　didn't　know　
if　he　could　as　well。　

〃A　very　dangerous　one；〃　he　murmured。　

We　were　both　silent　then。　I　watched　the　headlights　twist　with　the　curves　
of　the　road。　They　moved　too　fast；　it　didn't　look　real；　it　looked　like　a　
video　game。　I　was　aware　of　the　time　slipping　away　so　quickly；　like　the　
black　road　beneath　us；　and　I　was　hideously　afraid　that　I　would　never　have　
another　chance　to　be　with　him　like　this　again　—　openly；　the　walls　between　
us　gone　for　once。　His　words　hinted　at　an　end；　and　I　recoiled　from　the　
idea。　I　couldn't　waste　one　minute　I　had　with　him。　

〃Tell　me　more；〃　I　asked　desperately；　not　caring　what　he　said；　just　so　I　
could　hear　his　voice　again。　

He　looked　at　me　quickly；　startled　by　the　change　in　my　tone。　〃What　more　do　
you　want　to　know？〃　

〃Tell　me　why　you　hunt　animals　instead　of　people；〃　I　suggested；　my　voice　
still　tinged　with　desperation。　I　realized　my　eyes　were　wet；　and　I　fought