gossip girl 10 英文-第25部分

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ABC　Amber　LIT　Converter　v2。02　
==================================　

Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to　
protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。　

　hey　people！　

I　interrupt　your　regularly　scheduled　programming　to　bring　you　this　late…breaking　news：　

my　tipsters　are　the　best。　You　may　remember　a　concerned　reader　writing　in　a　few　days　ago　about　a　
couple　of　look…alike　impostors　who？d　infiltrated　Hamptons　society？　Turns　out　they　weren？t　
fooling：　the　gruesome　twosome　who　bear　a　disturbing　resemblance　to　and　are　a　couple　of　Estonian　


semibeauties　who　a　certain　designer　has　hired　to　be　the　faces　of　his　newest　venture；　a　
ready…to…wear　line　he？s　launching　this　fall。　Looks　like　it？s　going　to　be　double　（quadruple？）　the　
trouble。　And　here　I　thought　scientists　had　only　figured　out　how　to　clone　a　sheep！　Estonia　is　so　
technologically　advanced。　But　the　real　dirt　is　on　these　girls？　sor…did　history。　Details　are　surfacing　
as　we　speak！　My　money？s　on　to　freak　out　first；　but　before　she　does；　let？s　all　take　a　second　to　
appreciate　the　possibilities？couldn？t　having　your　own　private　look…alike　e　in　mighty　handy　at　
times？　I　know　I　would　have　loved　one　this　past　May　at　exam　time；　when　all　this　body　wanted　to　
do　was　lounge　in　Sheep　Meadow。　And　what　about　avoiding　boring　family　brunches　at　Le　Cirque？　
Or　having　an　extra　pair　of　hands　to　do　some　charity　work　in　our　names？　And　isn？t　more　a　little　
merrier　anyway？　Then　again；　more　bodies　=　less　space　on　those　overcrowded　Hamptons　beaches。　
Maybe　ditching　those　doppelgangers　isn？t　such　a　bad　idea。　（Did　you　really　think　that　getting　into　
college　meant　I？d　forget　all　my　SAT　words？）　

If　you？re　merely　nodding　to　my　overcrowded　beaches　ment　and　haven？t　actually　
experienced　it　firsthand；　consider　this　a　public　service　announcement：　no　matter　how　many　people　
flock　to　the　Hamptons　in　the　summer；　it？s　the　only　place　to　see　and　be　seen。　So　fold　up　that　
lap…top；　grab　a　beach　bag；　and　get　your　booty　to　the　nearest　private　jet！　In　a　pinch；　the　Hampton　
Jitney　will　do？it　should　only　take　an　extra　couple　hours　of　miserable　bumper…to…bumper　traffic。　
But　trust　me；　it　will　be　worth　it　when　you？re　digging　your　toes　into　the　shimmering　sand。　What　
price　glory！　

Since　you？d　all　be　helpless　without　me；　I？ll　lay　out　exactly　what　you　need　to　bring。　。　。　。　

packing　list　for　a　hasty　hamptons　departure　

？　Oversize　Chanel　sunglasses　or　old…school　aviators。　Impostor　sunglasses　are　a　little　like　
impostor　models：　they　look　fine　on　first　inspection；　but　close…up　they　just　look　bad。　

？　Clarins　SPF　30　with　moisturizer。　That　whole　tanned…to…a…crisp　thing　went　out　with　last　year？s　
espadrilles。　

？　Kiehl？s　SPF　15　lip　balm　with　berry　tint。　Just　because　you？re　avoiding　tan　lines　doesn？t　mean　
your　lips　should　go　naked。　

？　A　monogrammed　boat　bag　with　matching　towel。　Sort　of　the　designer　equivalent　of　name　tags　
on　your　clothes　for　summer　camp。　If　you　lose　a　towel；　keep　your　fingers　crossed　that　a　hottie　finds　
it？and　then　finds　you　to　return　it。　

？　Metromint　mint…flavored　water。　It？s　cooling　for　a　hot　day　in　the　sun。　Plus；　it　freshens　your　
breath；　making　you　all　the　more　kissable。　Mwa！　Mwa！　Mwa！　

？　Your　best　friends。　You？re　going　to　need　someone　to　rub　Coppertone　on　your　back；　and　we　all　
know　that　summer　fling　of　yours　isn？t　really　a　long…term　solution。　。　。　。　


　your　e…mail　

Speaking　of　summer　flings；　it　seems　from　your　e…mails　that　you　all　are　having　some　serious　
relationship　woes。　Let　me　help　you　out：　
Q：？　
Dear　GG；　
？　
I？ve　been　living　with　my　ex…boyfriend/friend；　and　now　I？m　planning　to　take　off　for　a　while。　It？s　
nothing　personal？just　a　vacation。　What？s　the　protocol？　Do　I　tell　him　or　just　let　him　figure　it　out？　
？　
？Roommate　on　the　Run　
A：？　
Dear　RotR；　
？　
Just　because　you　know　how　your　roommate　kisses　doesn？tmean　you　should　go　and　throw　the　
house　rules　out　the　pent…house　window。　Allow　me　to　share　the　basics：　1）　Food　is　munal　unless　
otherwise　labeled。　2）　Give　a　call　if　you？re　not　ing　home　at　night？we　worry！　And　3）　If　you　
aren？t　inviting　us　onyour　vacation；　the　least　you　can　do　is　leave　a　note　and　a　gift。（I？ve　been　
checking　out　the　new　Marc　by　Marc　Jacobs　beachtotes；　but　maybe　that？s　just　me。）　Bon　voyage！　
？　
？GG　
Q：？　
Dear　GG；　
？　
I　know　my　ex…boyfriend　is　living　on　the　same　street　as　me　this　summer；　but　I　can？t　figure　out　
which　house　is　his。　Help！　
？　
？Stalking　the　Neighborhood　
A：？　
Dear　Stalking；　
？　
Maybe　you　should　take　a　clue　from　Hansel　and　Gretel　and　help　him　find　his　way　to　you。　If　he？s　
like　every　boy　I　know；　a　trail　of　discarded　clothes　will　do　the　trick！　
？　
？GG　

sightings　

An　infamous　lacrosse　coach？s　wife？we？ll　call　her　olderB　？ing　out　of　a　tattoo　parlor　in　
Hampton　Bays。　I　wonder　who　the　experience　was　more　painful　for：　her；　or　the　tattoo　artist　who　
had　to　see　her　topless？　Former　yoga　enthusiastD　chain…smoking　cigarettes　outside　the　Strand。　
Looks　like　those　downward…dog　days　are　over。　That　is；　unless　someone　else　can　whip　him　into　
shape　。　。　。　His　little　sisterJ　all　the　way　in　Prague；　sketching　a　totally　adorable　boy　while　he　


sketched　the　local　market　scene？nice　to　see　traveling　hasn？t　changed　her！　A　certain　monkey…toting　
Manhattanite；C　；　stocking　up　on　Fake　Bake　self…tanning　cream　in　Chocolate　Mousse。　Yummy！　
Will　the　Hamptons　be　acmodating　yet　another　visitor？V　buying　Bermuda　shorts　and　a　
black…and…white　striped　boatneck　tee　in　Club　Monaco　on　Broadway。　How　positively　summery　of　
her。S　andB　sharing　cocktails　with　their　look…alikes？how　weird　would　it　be　if　the　four　of　them　
became　BFFs？！　

Okay；　darlings；　that？s　it　for　now。　I　have　a　mani…pedi　scheduled　for　this　afternoon；　and　I　still　can？t　
decide　between　pale　pink　Bikini　with　a　Martini；　golden…beige　Cabana　Boy；　or　bright…coral　Shop　
Till　I　Drop。　Decisions；　decisions。　At　least　I　can？t　go　wrong！　

You　know　you　love　me。　
gossip　girl　

b　&　v　break　out　the　birthday　suits　

？Tell　me　again；？　Serena　sighed；　idly　flipping　the　glossy　pages　of　that　month？s　JapaneseVogue　as　
she　lay　sprawled　across　the　minimalist　oak　platform　bed；　？why　we？re　inside　on　a　day　like　today？？　

The　day　in　question　was　ninety　degrees　and　clear　as　glass；　with　the　slightest　suggestion　of　an　
ocean　breeze。　Serena　looked　up　from　the　close…up　photo　of　a　very　blond　Japanese　model　with　
painted…on　eyelashes　sucking　on　an　applered　lollipop。　She　could　see　an　inviting　cool　patch　of　
shade　under　the　wide　white　canvas　umbrellas　stationed　alongside　the　swimming　pool。　Today　was　
definitely　a　lounge…around…half…in…and…half…out…of…the…water　sort　of　day。　

？You　know　the　answer　to　that；？　snapped　Blair；　who　was　angrily　riffling　through　the　dark　walnut　
armoire　where　Annabella；　Bailey　Winter？s　housekeeper；　had　hung　all　of　their　garment…bagged　
clothes。　？I　swear　one　of　those　fucking　girls　took　my　fucking　Dolce　sundress。　The　one　with　the　
grommets。　I　can？t　find　it　anywhere。？　She　started　haphazardly　ripping　dresses　off　of　their　wooden　
hangers　and　tossing　them　onto　the　floor。　

Well；　that？s　what　maids　are　for！　

？Mmm；？　Serena　murmured。　There　was　nothing　special　about　Blair　throwing　a　tantrum；　although　
Serena　kind　of　hoped　she？d　pick　up　the　clothes　afterwards。　But　ever　since　they？d　arrived　at　Bailey　
Winter？s　sprawling　modernist　pound；　Blair　had　thrown　more　than　her　fair　share？even　for　her。　

Now　that？s　really　saying　something。　

Blair　was　convinced　that　the　skanky　Eurotrash　models　Ibiza　and　Svetlana　were　out　to　get　her。　
She　kept　accusing　them　of　swiping　her　clothes　or　using　her　La　Mer　SPF　45　moisturizer　and　


insisting　that　Ibiza；　the　brunette；　was　mimicking　her　every　move；　from　her　new　chin…grazing　
hairstyle　to　her　wardrobe　selections。　Serena　had　to　admit　the　pair　bore　a　troubling　resemblance　to　
her　and　Blair；　but　they　seemed　harmless　enough。　They　were　just　annoying；　like　the　copycat　
ninth…grade　girls　back　at　Constance　Billard。　

Isn？t　mimicry　the　most　sincere　form　of　flattery？　

？Fuck　this；？　Serena　announced；　closing　the　magazine　and　pushing　it　off　the　bed。　She　
yawned。　？I？m　not　going　to　rot　in　here　all　summer　long　just　because　we　want　to　avoid　some　weird　
girls　with　buckteeth　and　cross　eyes。　I？m　going　swimming。？　

？But　I　can？t　find　my　new　navy　polka…dot　Ashley　Tyler　cover…up；？　Blair　whined。　？What？s　the　
point　of　being　a　muse　if　I？m　not　dressed　to　inspire？　If　that　Ibiza　girlborrowed　it；　I　swear　I？m　going　
to　rip　her　malnourished　arms　off。？　

Spoken　like　a　true　muse。　

？e　on；　Blair。？　Serena　slipped　a　Gauloise　from　the　battered　pack　on　the　neatly　made　bed　
beside　her；　lighting　it　with　the　silver　Dunhill　lighter　she？d　swiped　from　her　brother；　Erik。　It　was　
engraved　with　his　monogram　EvdW。　？Just　throw　something　on　and　let？s　go。　It？s　too　nice　outside。？　

？Throw　something　on？　I　have　nothing　to　fucking　wear　because　of　those　fucking　copycats。？　Blair　
threw　her　hands　in　the　air；　as　though　the　piles　of　tissue…thin　cotton　and　fine　washed…silk　garments　
all　around　her　were　invisible　

？Then　just　wear　something　ugly　and　see　if　they　copy　that；？　Serena　offered；　exasperated。　She　
loved　Blair；　she　really　did；　and　they？d　been　best　friends　for　forever；　but　sometimes　she　just　wanted　
to　slap　her　perfectly　toned　little　butt　cheeks。　

？Actually　。　。　。？　Blair　threw　herself　onto　the　bed　and　snatched　Serena？s　Gauloise　from　her　lips。　
She　inhaled　deeply　and　narrowed　her　brilliant　blue　eyes　thoughtfully。　？That　gives　me　an　idea。？　

？What　a　glorious　day！？　Blair　flung　open　the　impeccably　clear　French　glass　doors　to　the　pool　
house　and　strode　into　the　fierce　afternoon　sunshine；　bare　arms　stretched　out　above　her　
head。　？e　on；　Serena。　Let？s　get　some　sun。？　

？ing；　ing；？　Serena　giggled；　stumbling　out　of　the　shaded　bungalow；　the　sun…warmed　
bluestone　burning　the　soles　of　her　freshly　pedicured　feet。　She　held　her　rolled…up　magazine　in　one　
hand；　a　burning　cigarette　in　the　other；　and　her　white　horn…framed　Cutler　and　Gross　sunglasses　
covered　most　of　her　face。　Other　than　that；　she　was　pletely；　totally；　outrageously　naked。　

？Maybe　we　should　ask　Stefan　for　some　iced　coffee；？　suggested　Blair；　settling　her　own　exposed　
hindquarters　onto　a　teak　chaise。　Her　only　accessories　were　a　tiny　gold　Me&Ro　anklet